


help girl i'm spiraling while trying to do a math assignment

by mellohidoeswords



Series: mellohi writes transinnit stuff lol [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Author Projecting onto TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Breakdown, Misgendering, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29350566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellohidoeswords/pseuds/mellohidoeswords
Summary: tommy tries to get medicine for his head ache, ends up spiraling, and then wilbur pulls him out of it
Series: mellohi writes transinnit stuff lol [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2171004
Comments: 9
Kudos: 257





	help girl i'm spiraling while trying to do a math assignment

**Author's Note:**

> tw // transphobia, misgendering, implied self harm, mental breakdown/spiraling, medication (ibuprofen) is mentioned  
> -  
> also i'm posting here for the first time so if this is extremely scuffed that's why

Tommy was working on his math homework, opening discord from time to time to see any missed dms. A couple seconds later he sat down his pencil, got up, and walked over to the bathroom to go get some medicine. He had a killer headache, it might’ve been self induced but that didn’t stop him from complaining about it.

“Ah, there it is.” He whispered to himself while pouring a couple of pills out onto his hand. For a second he thought about getting something to wash it down, before ultimately deciding to swallow them dry.

He tried to avoid looking at himself in the mirror. Just to add to the rest of his day, today was a bad dysphoria day too. Everything felt wrong, he didn’t know how to cope with it, he didn’t know how to make it go away. He’d only been binding for a couple hours now, but his ribs hurt and he still felt like a girl. He thought about going out after he finished his school work but with the way everything is going that probably won’t happen. Even just thinking about what others would think of him as he walked down the street made him want to throw up. 

“Look at that poor girl, she looks so sad.” He imagined someone saying. “I wonder why she has bandages on her arms? I hope she’s okay.” The voice sneered at him, mocking him. He wanted to rip his hair out, he wanted to run away, he didn’t want to be here anymore. He couldn’t even tell anyone about anything, the person he used to trust just laughed at him whenever he talked about his problems. Tommy couldn’t tell any of the SMP members, what would they think of him? He was alone. And no one cared. They never did and never would. Maybe he would be better off dead. Maybe all the people who told him to- Wilbur was calling him. Why now? It took him a few seconds to wrap his head around what was happening, then he picked up the call.

“Hey man, what’s going on?” Wilbur said enthusiastically.

“Uhh no-nothing much, y’know just working on stuff.” Tommy stuttered, him trying to act like he wasn’t just spiraling wasn’t really working.

“Toms?”

“Shit” Tommy thought, “I’m screwed, aren’t I?”

Tommy took a shaky deep breath and then answered. “Yeah, Big Man?”

"Are you good? I just want to make sure you're okay."

“Well, uhm, you see,” He lets out a nervous laugh before continuing, “Not really, not gonna lie to you.”

“Oh Toms," Wilbur said, his voice soft and filled with sympathy, "do you want to talk about it? You don't have to if you don't want to."

Tommy thought about it, all the possibilities and outcomes from this. A clip of Wilbur saying trans right came to mind. If someone was going to support him, it would be Wilbur. It's worth a shot.


End file.
